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23

Jul

i-eat-men-like-air:

john oliver is really not fucking around 

(Source: sandandglass)

tastefullyoffensive:

Ladypug [x]

tastefullyoffensive:

Ladypug [x]

vastderp:

dicklover3000:

notsoprettykitty:

dicklover3000:

samstagram-13:

dicklover3000:

samstagram-13:

dicklover3000:

samstagram-13:

dicklover3000:

samstagram-13:

dicklover3000:

animatedgurl:

dicklover3000:

thetimeofdawn:

dicklover3000:

lmao my mom got me long hamsters haha why these hamsters so long

those are ferrets you pile of wombat shit

haha aw sweetie :) you need to learn your animals! those are long hamsters! they’re like hamsters… but they’re long! (:

Lemme correct you thetimeofdawn, dicklover3000 is a pile of ‘ferret’ shit, and dicklover3000, those are in fact, ferrets, get a 3rd grade education, “sweetie”

aw babe im sure you meant well but those are not ferrets! theyre long hamsters! (: its ok to not know a lot about animals! youll learn!

EDUCATE YOURSELF DICKLOVER3000 FUCKING SHIT. DID YOU SUCK TOO MANY DICK THAT YOU FORGOT EVERYTHING ELSE???!!!??!?¿¿???!!!

:-) …maybe

Listen, “babe.” If you want to correct others, make sure you got your facts straight. At least google it so that you may actually sound intelligent rather than a brainless neanderthal. You’re embarrassing yourself, honey.

baby doll my facts are 100 percent true! :-) silly silly ferrets are only a myth! these are long hamsters! im sure you have heard of them! they’re available in many pet stores! they’re awfully cute but very hyper!

Listen here, dickwadA ferret is a domesticated form of a European Polecat. Its scientific name is Mustela putorius furo. LOOK IT UP SO THAT YOU CAN DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH. Might I say, its life span is 7-10 years. LONG HAMSTERS are not proper nor do they roam the earth. So please, look it up and EDUCATE YOURSELF, TWAT.

i am sorry that you refuse to educate yourself on the beauty of long hamsters! my dear you are simply just wrong on this matter! dont worry! one day you will understand :) long hamsters are truly magical creatures… 

JESUS CHRIST WOMAN. LONG HAMSTERS DONT EXIST. YOU. NEED. TO DO. YOUR. OWN. GODDAMN. RESEARCH. BC YOU. ARE BEING AN UNEDUCATED LITTLE SWINE. MAYBE, IF YOU SUCK A DICK TOO HARD, YOU MIGHT SUCK THEIR BRAINS OUT, THEN MAYBE, YOU WILL HAVE A LITTLE INTELLIGENCE IN YOU.

goodness gracious! sweetheart! long hamsters have been the center of many, many studies for years! they are truly little miracles! no one knows how these hamsters got so long. (: it is okay that you have yet to explore the amazing Cricetinae longis. 

I’m not going to lie, I really wouldn’t mind slapping the person with enough idiocy to think that long hamsters exist. They are not real nor will they ever be unless hamsters evolve to have elongated bodies. You are an uncultured swine and need to stop being so arrogant towards the people telling you that they are ferrets. If you did your research, you would find that those people are, in fact, correct. Those are FERRETS. There is no such thing as long hamsters.

no those are long hamsters

how do people not recognize a long hamster the picture is right there you can see their faces and everything

vastderp:

dicklover3000:

notsoprettykitty:

dicklover3000:

samstagram-13:

dicklover3000:

samstagram-13:

dicklover3000:

samstagram-13:

dicklover3000:

samstagram-13:

dicklover3000:

animatedgurl:

dicklover3000:

thetimeofdawn:

dicklover3000:

lmao my mom got me long hamsters haha why these hamsters so long

those are ferrets you pile of wombat shit

haha aw sweetie :) you need to learn your animals! those are long hamsters! they’re like hamsters… but they’re long! (:

Lemme correct you thetimeofdawn, dicklover3000 is a pile of ‘ferret’ shit, and dicklover3000, those are in fact, ferrets, get a 3rd grade education, “sweetie”

aw babe im sure you meant well but those are not ferrets! theyre long hamsters! (: its ok to not know a lot about animals! youll learn!

EDUCATE YOURSELF DICKLOVER3000 FUCKING SHIT. DID YOU SUCK TOO MANY DICK THAT YOU FORGOT EVERYTHING ELSE???!!!??!?¿¿???!!!

:-) …maybe

Listen, “babe.” If you want to correct others, make sure you got your facts straight. At least google it so that you may actually sound intelligent rather than a brainless neanderthal. You’re embarrassing yourself, honey.

baby doll my facts are 100 percent true! :-) silly silly ferrets are only a myth! these are long hamsters! im sure you have heard of them! they’re available in many pet stores! they’re awfully cute but very hyper!

Listen here, dickwad
A ferret is a domesticated form of a European Polecat. Its scientific name is Mustela putorius furo. LOOK IT UP SO THAT YOU CAN DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH. Might I say, its life span is 7-10 years. LONG HAMSTERS are not proper nor do they roam the earth. So please, look it up and EDUCATE YOURSELF, TWAT.

i am sorry that you refuse to educate yourself on the beauty of long hamsters! my dear you are simply just wrong on this matter! dont worry! one day you will understand :) long hamsters are truly magical creatures… 

JESUS CHRIST WOMAN. LONG HAMSTERS DONT EXIST. YOU. NEED. TO DO. YOUR. OWN. GODDAMN. RESEARCH. BC YOU. ARE BEING AN UNEDUCATED LITTLE SWINE. MAYBE, IF YOU SUCK A DICK TOO HARD, YOU MIGHT SUCK THEIR BRAINS OUT, THEN MAYBE, YOU WILL HAVE A LITTLE INTELLIGENCE IN YOU.

goodness gracious! sweetheart! long hamsters have been the center of many, many studies for years! they are truly little miracles! no one knows how these hamsters got so long. (: it is okay that you have yet to explore the amazing Cricetinae longis. 

I’m not going to lie, I really wouldn’t mind slapping the person with enough idiocy to think that long hamsters exist. They are not real nor will they ever be unless hamsters evolve to have elongated bodies. You are an uncultured swine and need to stop being so arrogant towards the people telling you that they are ferrets. If you did your research, you would find that those people are, in fact, correct. Those are FERRETS. There is no such thing as long hamsters.

no those are long hamsters

how do people not recognize a long hamster the picture is right there you can see their faces and everything

derpycats:

Chillin

derpycats:

Chillin

(Source: regalkinghiddles)

yamino:

fozmeadows:

scienceofsarcasm:

Evening Post: August 12, 1899.
"She immediately alighted, caught hold of the astonished youth, and gave him a sound thrashing, using her fists in a scientific fashion…”

I would love to know what this means.

I think that might be code for “punched him in the balls with devastating accuracy”.

(This reminds me of Kate Beaton’s comic...)

patrickthomson:

this is your periodic reminder that old-timey medicines did not fuck around

patrickthomson:

this is your periodic reminder that old-timey medicines did not fuck around

dapperfucker:

best of “she wears short skirts”

dirksdoritos:

a-closed-casket:

Me and my friend painted two portal murals at school.

I was so confused like how did you get them to break a hole through the wall

22

Jul

So, Michael’s sister wrote gay smutfic of Michael and I:

pantslesswrock:

Michael walks in the door, returning from a grocery store run. Arms full of food, he walks across the house towards the kitchen. In the T.V. room, his roommate , Bobby, sat watching tv. Michael put away the groceries and walked onto the other room to plop down on the couch next to him.
Bobby had “That 70’s Show” playing on marathon, it was Michael and Bobby’s favorite show of all time.
“Did you buy the groceries?” Bobby asked, not glancing from the T.V
“Yeah I got some peanut butter since we were out, because you keep eating all the damn peanut butter!” Michael replied jokingly, but still in a persistent tone, just trying to keep the conversation going.
“What else did you get?” Asked Bobby hungrily. Michael chuckled and replied, “Some vegetables, sauce, junk food, etc. Oh, and some stuff for tonight.” Bobby looked over at his friend. “What’s going on tonight?” He asked. Michael didn’t turn to meet his gaze when he said, “Something special. A surprise, you’ll see.” Still curious, Bobby turned back to the T.V.”
They continue to watch the tv for about an hour and a half. Michael gets up, declaring “I’m gonna go take a shower.”
“okay” Bobby said as he walked off towards the bathroom. It was about midnight, and they were the only ones home. Bobby thinks to himself, like he has been for the past hour and a half, what was gonna happen tonight. I have no clue what is gonna happen  tonight. I wonder what he got anyways?? Before he could even think about trying to find out what was purchased, he heard Michael call his name from the bathroom.
“Hey Bobby, could you bring me a towel? There isn’t any in here.” Michael yelled across the house.
“Oh, sure.” Bobby yelled over. He decided to turn the t.v off since the marathon was ending in a half an hour anyways and Bobby was sure Michael was planning to do something fairly soon. He walked over to the towels at the other side of the house, right next to the bathroom door. He picked one up and didn’t even bother knocking since they didn’t really have any boundaries. As soon as he opened the door, hot steam was released from the bathroom.
Bobby walked in slowly. He jumped when he saw Michael standing right in front of him, naked. He backed away a bit, blushing madly. Michael walked over to him, and held his head. He pulled Bobby up to his lips and began kissing him. Michael pushed him over to a wall, pinning him against the surface. His tongue fought to enter Bobby’s mouth, but Bobby wasn’t quite ready yet. He pushed away Michael and asked, “So uh.. what was in that bag that you didn’t want to tell me?” His friend just smiled and went back to kissing him. Bobby’s mouth had still been open and so Michael took advantage of this. His tongue entered and swirled around.

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